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蓋茨的育兒方針:愛和邏輯

2018年05月03日 10:34:45 來源: 中國日報網

  比爾·蓋茨應該算是世界上最成功的人了,擁有成功人生的他是如何培養和教育自己的下一代的呢?蓋茨日前透露,他對子女貫行的教育方法是“愛和邏輯”,也就是控制父母的情緒反應,多讚美孩子本身而不是依靠物質獎勵,引導孩子自己去解決問題。

  Bill Gates doesn't pretend he lives in an egalitarian household. When it comes to parenting his three children, the billionaire Microsoft mogul readily admits his wife Melinda has done more than her share of the work raising the kids.

  比爾·蓋茨並不假裝自己過著平等的家庭生活。這位微軟創始人、億萬富翁爽快地承認,在養育三個孩子的過程中,妻子梅琳達承擔了更多責任。

  "My wife does 80%," Gates told a crowd of Harvard students last Thursday. Gates spent two years there taking math and computer science courses as a pre-law student, but never finished up his degree (though he was later gifted an honorary diploma from the Ivy League university).

  上周四,蓋茨告訴一群哈佛學生説:“我妻子做了80%的工作。”蓋茨曾作為法學預科生在哈佛大學上過兩年課,學習數學和計算機科學,但始終沒有完成自己的學業、取得學位(不過後來哈佛大學授予了他榮譽學位)。

  "My eldest graduates from Stanford in June, so I'm optimistic she won't fall into my footsteps," Gates joked.

  蓋茨開玩笑説:“今年六月,我的大女兒就從斯坦福大學畢業了。所以我可以樂觀地説,她不會步我的後塵。”

  Gates said he and his wife have been quite deliberate about the model they've used to raise their three children, who are now 15, 18, and 22 years old.

  蓋茨夫婦育有三個子女,目前分別為15歲、18歲和22歲。他們夫婦二人對孩子的教育問題非常慎重。

  He says the couple followed a 1970s "Love and Logic" parenting model. It's a formula that was created by a group of three men — a mix of psychologists, psychiatrists and former school administrators. The core idea of their philosophy is centered on the idea that exerting emotional control, essentially minimizing emotional reactions like shouting or reprimanding kids.

  比爾·蓋茨表示,他們遵循上世紀70年代的“愛和邏輯”教育模式。該模式由一位心理學家、一位精神病學家和一位曾任學校管理者的人合作創立。它的核心理念是情緒控制,即最大程度地減少情緒反應,如大喊大叫、訓斥孩子。

  "One of the greatest benefits of applying Love and Logic is that it helps us learn how to keep a tighter leash on our emotions and on our tongues," co-founder Charles Fay wrote in a blog post about his model.

  這種模式的聯合創立者查爾斯·費伊在他的博客中寫道:“應用愛和邏輯教育法的最大益處之一是能幫助我們學習如何控制情緒和語言。”

  Gates admits he and his wife haven't been perfect at carrying out the approach.

  蓋茨承認,他和妻子在實踐這種教育法時做得並不完美。

  "Can you get rid of the emotion? You can't totally do it," he said.

  他説:“你可以拋卻情緒嗎?你無法完全做到。”

  Aside from reining in hot-blooded parent tempers, the love and logic model also stresses the importance of not leaning into rewards for kids, but instead demonstrating unconditional love and admiring kids for who they are, not what they do (or don't) achieve, like a poor test score or a bad grade.

  除了控制父母的激烈情緒外,愛和邏輯教育模式還強調不要依賴物質獎勵。相反,父母應該表達無條件的愛,應該讚美孩子本身,而非他們的成就或失敗(例如考試分數)。

  "Many highly successful people struggled with grades as children," Fay wrote on his site. "What's most important is that our children develop good character, curiosity, and problem-solving skills."

  費伊在他的網站上寫道:“許多非常成功的人小時候成績並不好。最重要的是使孩子具備良好的品格、好奇心和解決問題的技巧。”

  The model is a bit like the Socratic method, in that it pushes parents to focus on asking questions of their kids and getting them to think about how to solve their own problems, instead of feeding them answers.

  這有點像蘇格拉底式的教育方法。父母應該問孩子問題,引導孩子思考如何自己解決問題,而非直接提供答案。

  Gates says the "Love and Logic" method is a far cry from the way he grew up, but he knew he wanted to do things differently with his own kids.

  蓋茨表示,“愛和邏輯”教育法和他自己的成長經歷相距甚遠,但他希望為自己的孩子做點不一樣的事情。

  It wasn't the only way he set boundaries for his children while they were growing up. None of his kids owned a cell phone until they were 14 years old. The children also attended Catholic church regularly with their parents. And they will each get about $10 million of their parents fortune as inheritance, a mere fraction of the mogul's roughly $90 billion net worth.

  這不是蓋茨給孩子們在成長過程中設定的唯一界限。蓋茨的每一個孩子都要年滿十四歲才能擁有手機。孩子們要跟著父母定期去天主教堂做禮拜。每個孩子將來各繼承大約一千萬美元(合6360萬元人民幣)的財産——相較于蓋茨高達大約900億美元的凈資産,這只是九牛一毛。

  "We want to strike a balance where they have the freedom to do anything, but not a lot of money showered on them so they could go out and do nothing," Gates once told TED.

  蓋茨曾在TED大會上説:“我們希望取得平衡,讓孩子們能夠自由自在地做任何事情,而不是給予他們大量金錢,讓他們無所事事。”

  翻譯&編輯:丹妮

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